Babies are such a nice way to start people'
- Don Herold
Expect - to
miss being pregnant coz that was the easy part.
Expect - disappointment
if you don't breastfeed. If you do, EXPECT to discover
that breastfeeding speeds up weight loss to be just
a Myth.
Expect - to
do everything else but nap when your baby is napping.
If you nap, EXPECT to feel guilty for not doing the
chores.
Expect - to
sterilize the pacifier and everything else your newborn
touches. And when your baby turns six months old,
you will consider wiping your pacifier clean on your
jeans the way to go.
Expect - yourself
to be the one to hear your baby's stirs while your
husband sleeps through the stirring, feeding and diapering.
Expect - to
be in your nightgown at lunch, dinner and bedtime
and then wonder where the morning has gone.
Expect - your
husband to bond much later than you and yet find your
baby's first words to be "Da Da."
Expect - to
trust nobody else with your baby no matter how qualified.
Expect - smelly
spit ups on your shoulder just when you are about
to go out.
Expect - to
change diapers just as you sit down to a meal or when
your flight takes off.
Expect - your
weekends and holidays to be different from now on.
Expect - sex
to be the last thing on your mind and the first thing
on your husband's.
Expect - to
understand why a baby could never salvage a marriage.
Expect - to
take a while in zipping up your jeans.
Expect - to
find sit-ups an ordeal
Expect - to
fall in love with the toothless smile.
Expect - to
find food on your sofa, carpet and everywhere else.
Expect - phone
conversations to be interrupted.
Expect - baby
rearing to be the most difficult job you have ever
had with no lunch break, vacation or sick leave.
Expect - to
believe your baby will always need you.
Expect - legos
and puzzle pieces to prevent you from walking barefoot
around the house again.
Expect - long
drives to be a thing of the past.
Expect - Barney
to replace Sonu Nigam.
Expect - the
remote and the phone to be your baby's favorite toys.
