Babies are such a nice
way to start people' - Don Herold
Expect
- to miss being pregnant coz that was the
easy part.
Expect
- disappointment if you don't breastfeed.
If you do, EXPECT to discover that breastfeeding
speeds up weight loss to be just a Myth.
Expect
- to do everything else but nap when your
baby is napping. If you nap, EXPECT to feel
guilty for not doing the chores.
Expect
- to sterilize the pacifier and everything
else your newborn touches. And when your
baby turns six months old, you will consider
wiping your pacifier clean on your jeans
the way to go.
Expect
- yourself to be the one to hear your baby's
stirs while your husband sleeps through
the stirring, feeding and diapering.
Expect
- to be in your nightgown at lunch, dinner
and bedtime and then wonder where the morning
has gone.
Expect
- your husband to bond much later than you
and yet find your baby's first words to
be "Da Da."
Expect
- to trust nobody else with your baby no
matter how qualified.
Expect
- smelly spit ups on your shoulder just
when you are about to go out.
Expect
- to change diapers just as you sit down
to a meal or when your flight takes off.
Expect
- your weekends and holidays to be different
from now on.
Expect
- sex to be the last thing on your mind
and the first thing on your husband's.
Expect
- to understand why a baby could never salvage
a marriage.
Expect
- to take a while in zipping up your jeans.
Expect
- to find sit-ups an ordeal
Expect
- to fall in love with the toothless smile.
Expect
- to find food on your sofa, carpet and
everywhere else.
Expect
- phone conversations to be interrupted.
Expect
- baby rearing to be the most difficult
job you have ever had with no lunch break,
vacation or sick leave.
Expect
- to believe your baby will always need
you.
Expect
- legos and puzzle pieces to prevent you
from walking barefoot around the house again.
Expect
- long drives to be a thing of the past.
Expect
- Barney to replace Sonu Nigam.
Expect
- the remote and the phone to be your baby's
favorite toys.
Expect
- to realize no matter how careful you are
your baby will still have bumps and bruises.
Expect
- to wish their pain were your pain.
Expect
- strangers to ask when you are planning
your next one.
Expect
- your car to smell worse than your refrigerator.
Expect
- to wish your baby didn't have to get shots.
Expect
- to miss going to the bathroom by yourself.
Expect
- to have a spectator when you shower.
Expect
- sleep deprivation and any time alone.
Expect
- to feel depressed when you have your baby
all to yourself.
Expect
- to cherish everything your baby does and
says for the first time and to wish these
moments would last forever.
