Raising children to have values isn't easy. Thought
we have values we wish to pass on, we worry if we will
succeed; we remember ourselves as teenagers rejecting
values our parents sought to instill in us. Studies
show that after the predictable period of teenage rebellion,
most of us end up with values that resemble those of
our parents. Sometimes consciously and unconsciously
parents can and do strongly influence the way children
treat themselves and behave towards family and other
moral issues such as charity, honesty, work ethics,
environment etc. Good solid family values seem to run
in families. Specific values and how to best hand them
down are outlined below.
Know your own values:
First decide what you wish to depart from what you have
learnt from your parents when you were growing up. You
want to add a few links, minus a few away or make radical
changes. The list of values you want to pass on are
endless - family, health, religion, work, integrity,
courtesy, helping others, wealth and possession, education.
Compare and contrast with your partner's list. Once
you have reached an accord, you will be better in passing
the chosen values onto your child.
Live your values:
Parents sometimes find it difficult to live by some
values. They are determined that their children don't
abuse their bodies but they fail to show respect for
their own bodies by smoking, eating junk food etc for
example. To impart values to your children, you must
first commit yourself to living them; to follow them
habitually and not just when your toddler is around.
In the long run the influences your toddler is exposed
to will impact him more than any outside influence (this
includes, television, movies and music). Be a role model
by leading a good example.
Articulate your values:
Living your values is not good enough. Help your child
understand why you live them. Explain why it is better
to be honest than to lie; why taking care of your body
is important; why you should do unto others as you would
have them do unto you.
Values in perspective:
By building a framework of values for your toddler to
follow, you are heading him in the right direction.
As children grow older they add on their own experiences
and lessons they have learned in the world to what they
have learned at home and come up with their own unique
set of values. You as the parent have to lay the foundation
and let your toddler's own experiences enrich their
value bank with time.
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