Bonding before birth

Many mothers feel that they should start the bonding process during pregnancy itself because research shows babies in the womb hear what is going on outside. Chatting and patting early on is a good headstart for fetal bonding, as some parents and many researchers are inclined to believe. Although just as many are not sure about this, it is a fact that babies react to stimuli from external sources while still in the womb by kicking, squirming, grimacing and frowning.


And then there are those who feel that bonding can only happen after the baby is born and when you actually hold your baby in your arms. To them patting or talking to their bump looks and feels funny, or even weird. Studies however show that spending time with baby from the time you know you are pregnant and in the last weeks before birth especially, bring both parents and baby closer before you actually hold your infant.

The facts

• From as early as 8 weeks your baby's first nerve endings enable her to feel sensations.

• By the 16th week your baby's ears are functioning enough to hear his mother's heartbeat, swishing sounds of blood, every rumble his tiny ears can pick up. These womb sounds stay imprinted on their minds before they are born!

• A 6 month old fetus reacts by moving to the sound of his mother talking or jumps at the sudden sound of concert drums.

• A 7 month old baby is able to react to different type of music owing to the cortex (part of the brain) being developed enough to differentiate: they seem to kick more in agitation when exposed to rock music and stay calmer when some classical music is played.

• Studies indicate that babies are attuned to their mother's voices while still inside and react with an accelerated heartbeat. By the time baby is born he/she is already familiar with your voices.

• The newer studies suggest that babies may hear and feel more than we realize – so when the mother is happy, baby is too and likewise when mother is anxious so is her baby.

• By gently stroking the bump your moving baby will be calmed and comforted. As parents you will feel emotionally closer to your unborn child as he/she becomes a real person to you.

Talk-time and Music-time

• Now that you know that your baby can hear you, make time to talk to him/her directly. The content doesn’t matter so you can read your novel aloud or a page on stocks from a magazine. The idea is to get your baby accustomed to your voice and tone and your voice does become instrumental in comforting your baby after birth.

• Sing and play music to your baby. Music stimulates the baby's developing brain; it is a source of comfort while still in the utero and even after baby is born. Again, the type of music doesn’t matter and you don’t have to be a great singer. The song you choose doesn’t have to be a traditional lullaby. Any kind of music can be as stimulating as the classical ones.

Common Concerns

Do a pregnant woman's thoughts affect her unborn child?

• There is some connection between a mother's thoughts and her unborn child especially from six months onwards. A preborn baby that age can share mother's emotions because of the hormones that cross the placenta. While babies cannot understand actual words, they can and do react to the tone of voice. So soothing tones calm babies and angry ones upset them.


What else can baby sense apart from the sounds while inside the womb?

• An unborn baby can perceive different tastes and sights. Experimenting with the amniotic fluid confirmed that when a sweetener was added to the fluid the rate of swallowing doubled while the intake reduced when something sour was added. At 5 months when light was shone on the abdomen the fetus reacted by being startled.


What about the dad's influence and role in prenatal development of the baby?

• While the father cannot influence the emotional state of his baby directly, he can indirectly affect the emotional health of his baby by the way he treats the mother. He can nurture his unborn baby by caring for the mother. The more content and secure a woman feels the better it will be for her and consequently the baby as well.


Is the baby at risk if the mother is always moody?

• Pregnancy is a stressful period; the mother has to ensure she is guarded against all kinds of pollution, polluted thoughts included. It is best not to stress yourself unduly over your emotional state and add another stressor to your list. Take time to rest, to rid yourself of tension and to sink yourself in positive emotions whenever you can. Certainly, the mother's hormones cross the placenta and according to research this affects the fetus but that doesn’t mean you have to stay positive all the time- quite an uphill task really! It is only natural to have all kinds of emotions running through your head during your pregnant months so relax.