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The way you communicate with your wife is
going to influence her sense of security.
Distancing yourself physically and emotionally
is going to make her feel as if she is on
her own in this one i.e. pregnancy. Try
to be sensitive and encourage her to discuss
her fears and anxieties. Expect there to
be changes to your sex life, expect her
to have mood swings and expect this phase
to impact your relationship. You can either
grow closer or due to differences, grow
apart. Because of hormonal changes the onus
to balance things lies more on the man.
Your partner has got more on her plate so
how you handle these crucial nine months
is something you will have to manage. If
all goes well you will be closer than ever.
Remember the happier and more relaxed your
wife is during pregnancy, your baby is going
to gain by experiencing long-term emotional
and physical benefits. So make it a priority
to give time, support and love to your pregnant
partner with simple, pleasant gestures.
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Change
your habits
• If you smoke, cut down or better
still give it up. If you can't, smoke away
from your partner as passive smoke filtering
through to your baby is equally damaging.
• If you drink coffee don't do it
in front of her since she is trying to stay
off caffeine. Get one on your way to work
instead.
• If you drink, reduce it. It will
demonstrate your support at a time when
your partner shouldn't be drinking.
• If you junk a lot on junk food,
avoid and start eating healthily as this
will promote good eating habits in her too.
• If you can avoid travel in the last
trimester of the pregnancy, make that possible
as some babies decide to come early. You
should be there for her.
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Ways to share
the Pregnancy
Exercise together
Go for walks or swims or the gym. Apart
from staying in good shape it is a good
way to spend time together and stay on top
of things.
Massage your partner
Your partner is going to start to feel the
aches and the discomforts as she grows bigger.
Backaches and leg pain are common complaints.
You can help ease the pain and show how
much you care with this simple gesture.
It also increases intimacy and bonding time
with your partner.
Do the Groceries
Instead of your partner lugging around with
heavy bags, perhaps it is time you help
out with shopping on home and baby essentials.
Or you can suggest you do the shopping together;
she gets to enjoy walking around the supermarket
aisles while you help her with the load.
Let your partner sleep late
She needs to rest more so encourage her
to tuck in extra hours in the morning if
she feels like it. You could surprise her
with a breakfast in bed.
Make time to attend doctor visits
Attend scans and monthly routine visits
to the doctor with her whenever you can.
She could use the support. For important
tests or special appointments she will need
your presence. If she is attending childbirth
classes make it a point to go with her.
Go for dates
Make time to share interests other than
the baby. It is easy to get caught up with
baby issues and preparations that other
things start to slide. Keep some time aside
each week for each other. Go for a movie
or a dinner or rent a video at home. The
idea is to have some together moments alone.
Take a vacation
If you can afford the time and the expense,
plan a trip away from home. Trips are especially
suitable now since the due date is still
some months away. If the trip is in the
last trimester, ensure that she is comfortable
and fit to travel; keep the vacation short
like a weekend long.
Surprise her
Buy a cute gift or a card expressing your
feelings or simply making her feel special.
Pamper her by indulging in her food cravings
and demands which may seem silly to you
but important to her.
What
she truly expects from You
• A sympathetic listener especially
when she is feeling low and lousy
• A foot or back massage to ease pregnancy
aches and pains
• A clean bathroom; in case she throws
up, why not clean up instead of waiting
for her to do it (especially when there
is no other help around).
• Be sensitive to her aversions and
cravings. If she detests the smell of meat,
don't gorge on it in front of her. If she
craves for something you don't quite enjoy
yourself like peanut butter and strawberry
cream watch her eat with a smile.
• Be enthusiastic to the changes taking
place; respond by reading up on pregnancy
issues or fetal development.
• As she tries to kick bad habits
and stay healthy, support her ways by sharing
these lifestyle changes.
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When
you Squabble..
Reach an agreement
Most couples have a set way of dealing with
arguments that can turn nasty. For instance
when things go out of line, some decide
that it is best to cool off and discuss
when things cool down. Others have a pact
to never go to bed angry.
Take time out
When things heat up, take a break. Move
to another section of the house and later
when things cool off, talk things over on
how to solve it.
No name calling
Don't belittle each other or call each other
names during a fight. Don't drag family
members into the picture - there are no
winners in such situations.
Don't digress
Bringing up the past is a mistake most couples
make. Instead of focusing on the issue at
hand and being specific, they start to generalize.
Problems don't get solved this way. For
instance if the disagreement is due to household
chores and your partner picks on how you
never offered help in the past, deal with
it in a specific manner. And don't wait
for the situation to arise in the future
but volunteer to help without her 'prompting'
you.
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Your role at
the Birth
• You may play the role of primary
birth partner. This would mean you would
need to be ready and available when her
waters break and her contractions begin.
If both of you have jointly decided that
you should be present in the labor room,
you should be mentally prepared for what
is in store. Still, the sight of blood,
mucus, excreta, moaning and screaming involved
may shock you. Things often do not go according
to plan. For instance labor doesn't start
on the due date. Or once labor begins, events
may not go according to plan. Keep your
cool and remain sensitive to your partner's
needs.
• There is plenty you can do to assist
your partner during labor like holding and
supporting her, massaging her lower back,
neck, feet and reminding her to practice
her relaxing and breathing techniques. Support
her decisions on pain relief; comfort her
when she is afraid or unsure.
• It is not unusual feel anxious at
your ability to cope with the demands on
you or to worry about feeling faint or sickish
in the labor room. Be assured that you will
not feel squeamish but be more fascinated
instead by the birth your baby. Focus on
your partner's face if you find it difficult
to handle or take a breather by going outside.
Read as much as you can, discuss with other
fathers, visit the hospital area and attend
antenatal classes to prepare you for what
is to come.
• Despite this if you feel incapable
of being there for the delivery, talk with
your partner and have someone else she is
comfortable with like her mother for instance
or a doula to support your partner. Some
men and women do not feel comfortable at
the idea of having the partner witness vaginal
delivery. Be assured this will not make
a difference to the bond you will have with
your baby later on. |
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Did
You Know? |
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Did You Know? the facts during your
pregnancy, this facts are as follows..
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Massage
in Pregnancy |
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Massage in your pregnant
months has therapeutic effects on your
body and mind. If your partner is doing
it for you it is one way of having him
feel involved in your pregnancy. Massage
is not just for labor but..
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What
is safe, What is not? |
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When you
are pregnant and you don't feel right,
you have to think twice about what you
can do to remedy the situation. The
safe, non-medicinal way should usually
be your first choice. Many medications
become unsafe..
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Get
help - some warning signs you cannot
ignore! |
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Severe breathlessness, Vaginal bleeding,
Blurry vision, Severe abdominal pains,
Fluid discharge from the vagina..
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Sex
During Pregnancy |
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Sex is usually ok if
both partners are healthy, in particular
the pregnant partner. Sex does not always
mean intercourse; it includes giving
each other a massage, bathing together,
and having together moments alone where
you get to hug, kiss, hold hands or
simply..
Read More |
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